Old Age and Fire Whiskey May Lead to Jumping Dimensions
by Nemesis13
Summary: Harry Potter is in his twilight years. He, Hermione, and Draco run Hogwarts as a way to avoid the Dark Lord of the week and spend most of their time lamenting their wasted early years. After a bottle too many Hermione reveals a plan to go into the past, unfortunately for everyone involved she convinces her friends it's a great idea, and there's...complications-Fem!Harry, Fem!Draco,
1. Chapter 1

**After writing a significantly darker then normal chapter for my main story (Lady of Slytherin) I penned this in about an hour just for some stress relief.**

 **Depending on the response I may make it multichapter, it really depends on my mood, this is actually epilogue compliant which is a first for me, but everything kind of went to hell after that. As for Draco's friendship with Harry and Hermione, after an incident involving Ron he grew rather close to them, you'll find out what happened, Enjoy and review!**

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Headmaster Harry Potter sat behind his desk groaning as his old bones settled into the ancient chair, opening a drawer he wearily pulled out a fine bone china tea set and placed it before him. Calling for an elf he ordered a fresh brew and some biscuits while he adjusted his glasses trying not to think about the drama that had been unfolding as of late.

Another Dark Lord had popped up out of the woodwork and of course the Wizarding World was clamoring for their savior to swoop in and rescue them once again. Draco had pointed out on more than one occasion that all Harry had managed to do was be Dumbledore's replacement on the grand game board, usually accompanied with one of his arrogant condescending smirks.

Harry grimaced at that, he hated to admit it but his one time rival and now best mate was of course correct, the fact that his wife Hermione constantly said the same thing didn't help matters at all. As if summoned by his thoughts the two professors in question entered his office giving him lazy waves as they took their seats.

"Harry, what's on the itinerary for today?" His Deputy Headmistress had changed greatly over the years, mostly for the better but Hermione's 'Business First' outlook hadn't shifted much, glancing at the grey haired witch he nodded ever so slightly before speaking.

"Hello to you too 'Mione, and take a look for yourself, Lord...oh whatever the hell his name is tried to bomb a muggle orbital elevator yesterday, the Prime Minister is in a tizzy over it and well..."

Draco snorted at that rolling his silver blue eyes in amusement, "And they want the _Great Harry Potter_ to handle it correct?"

Even though they'd been friends for nearly a century Draco's lazy drawl still got on Harry's nerves now and then, but the aged headmaster kept that thought to himself as he poured himself a cup of tea while sighing in resignation.

"You'd be correct, any news from the Wizengamot?" Draco pulled his hands through is shoulder length blonde hair looking a bit contrite, as Hermione filled a cup for him he smiled at the muggle-born witch and nodded a thanks before replying.

"I have good news and bad new, bad news you're absolutely correct in that they expect you to fix everything...again."

Hermione mimicked the Potions Professor drawl as she tossed a cube of sugar into her drink, "Oh how dreadfully surprising."

Snorting in amusement he tipped his cup to her in a casual salute, "Quite. Anyway the good news is most of our power bloc is preventing the Minister for Magic to do anything too stupid at the very least. Having the Blacks, Bones, Longbottoms, Potters, Malfoys and Greengrass's on your arse tends to make you think twice about making idiotic decisions."

Pausing he threw the two Gryffindor's an apologetic look as he continued, "Speaking of idiotic decisions, I err...saw Ronald yesterday."

"Bugger," Harry muttered rubbing his hands across his face.

Hermione paled at that announcement as her hands began shaking, placing her cup down she eventually stammered out, "The-they let him out of Azkaban?"

Draco made a derisive sound at that as he rolled his eyes yet again, "That was Minister Diggory's grand idea apparently. Since you two have sequestered yourselves off here in Hogwarts they needed a member of the 'Golden Trio' to show off that the ministry is doing something about the most recent Dark Lord so they're parading around the freckled fool."

Harry stood abruptly and suddenly moved like a teenage seeker rather than a one hundred twenty year old teacher angrily pacing back and forth behind the desk.

"Golden Trio, Morgana damn it all we haven't been _that_ since the bastard murdered his own daughter for..."

Harry bit back the rest as Draco nodded, "Since he murdered Rose for dating my son...I know..."

Hermione was barely keeping her tears back for the moment but it was obviously a work of will, "How...does Hugo know?"

Draco paused, than shrugged, "Mione I have no idea, ever since Astoria and Ginerva died our kids have all kind of scattered across the globe to avoid the sins of the father. Last I heard Hugo is still hitting the sauce hard somewhere in China, he never got over what his father did to Rosie."

Harry approached a cabinet and swung it open, he had a bottle of fire whiskey in one hand and brandy in the other.

"I need a drink, you two are helping," Draco was going to comment on his friends ailing health but the glint of fury in those emerald eyes told him to just roll with it. Much to his surprise Hermione didn't bother with a snifter as she began downing the brandy straight from the bottle.

After a time they were all pretty much trashed, alcohol resistance was just one of those things that went with age, eventually Harry conjured a large sofa and the three fell into it drinks still in hand.

"You know," Hermione began, "I think I'd do it all over if I could..." both men glanced at the witch between them but it was Harry that spoke up first.

"What do ya mean 'Mione? Huh...that was almost alliteration..."

Draco snorted and took another sip of his whiskey, "It was not Potter...Merlin you're a terrible drunk."

Hermione for her part made a humming noise as she sloshed around the dredges of her bottle, she stared into the green glass almost mesmerized by the amber liquid before continuing as if she had never stopped, typical Hermione.

"I mean, if I was given a chance to do our lives over...I think I would...I mean it would be rough at first obviously, Draco didn't stop being an arse until he was in his thirties after all."

The man in question raised a finger to protest then paused thinking better of it. "But really we could avoid certain friendships, solidify existing ones, and just...I don't know...enjoy ourselves..."

Harry hummed to himself a bit before finishing off his glass and tossing it aside silently vanishing it before it hit the ground.

"What about our kids?"

Hermione actually let out a mad cackle at that, "What about them Harry? My Rosie is dead, Hugo has become a drunk layabout just like his father. James and Albus died in the line of duty and last I heard Lily and Scorpius fell off the face of the world, we haven't heard from either in twenty years now..."

Draco thought the callousness in her voice was more than likely alcohol induced so he figured he'd humor her, "Something tells me there's a reason you brought this up."

She grinned wickedly at that as a mad spark shot across her brown eyes, or it was once again the alcohol, being as drunk as he was Draco really had nothing else to base it on.

"I do," pulling a parchment from her robes the Deputy Headmistress stood and shuffled towards the desk as fast as her old and thoroughly inebriated bones would allow; sweeping everything off ofHarry's desk, the Headmaster (who to Draco's confusion giggled in amusement seeing all the silver instruments shatter) stood and followed. Sighing in resignation Draco stood from the comfortable sofa and looked over what Hermione had spread across the cleared surface.

"I have no idea what I'm looking at," Harry stated cheerfully, Draco scoffed, stared at the runes, hieroglyphics, and arithimatic formulas for thirty seconds and than could only nod in agreement.

"Yeah I have no idea either, please enlighten us plebeians to your master plan?"

Hermione began talking excitedly and Draco shot Harry a knowing look, they were about to get lectured at, dammit.

"It's all quite simple really, the spell, well more like a ritual will effectively tear our consciousness's from our current bodies and load us into our younger selves minds. It _has_ been done before but the damn fools went to the ministry and once they entered the Department of Mysteries they were never seen again, my money is on them getting dissected truthfully.

"Anyway all we need is for one of us to act as a binder, a drop of blood from the binder will anchor the ceremony and a drop from any other participants will attach them to said binder. Effectively it will drag all participants along with them back in time, what do you think?"

Draco rubbed his temples wishing he wasn't drunk at the moment but Harry stroked his beard in contemplation before turning back to Hermione, "And this will work? We'll just combine who we are currently with who we were?"

She worried her lip a moment before shaking her hand back and forth in a 'maybe' gesture that really didn't elicit much faith if Draco was to be perfectly honest with himself.

"Kind of sort of, really who knows with this sort of thing, for all I know it'll jump universes and we'll end up fighting dinosaurs."

Both men stared at her owlishly, Draco sighed and decided that he was wrong, he wished he was drunker at the moment, "So what you're saying is you've come up with an incredibly hair brained scheme to send us back in the past to basically avoid our terrible marriages and to selfishly regain fifty some odd years of wasted life at the expense of everything we've accomplished?"

Hermione nodded slowly once Draco finished, he looked to Harry who just shrugged, "Most of my kids are dead. I'm sick of fighting the Dark Lord of the month, and I always did like Jurassic Park, I'm in, you?"

Draco mulled it over for a few minutes than asked, "How far back would it send us?"

He was relieved she actually had an answer for that one, "Early to mid teens."

Sighing he dropped his hands to his sides and shrugged, "Oh why not."

Later that day a massive explosion rocked the castle, when the aurors finally cleaned the wreckage blocking the headmasters office they were shocked to see the dead bodies of Harry and Hermione Potter sprawled next to Draco Malfoy, all three grinning surrounded by a shattered ritual circle and a dozen empty liquor bottles.

* * *

Draco's head bloody _hurt!_ After that ridiculous thought he scoffed a bit, of course his head hurt he and Harry had downed a bottle of whiskey each before they'd gotten Hermione involved in their drinking game.

Than there was Hermione's crazy time travel plan, the blood ritual and-

Bugger, sitting up straight Draco blinked rapidly trying to take in his surroundings, apparently he'd come to alone in the dungeon corridor leading to the Great Hall. He was going to admit it, he honestly hadn't thought it would work, all Hermione had managed to do was teleport him a few hundred meters across the castle.

He'd have to rib her for that one, no apparation in Hogwarts indeed, shakily dragging his hands across his face he paused in shock, his hands were far too small. That and no arthritis, he wasn't going to complain about that though, looking at one of his hands he felt a brow raise as he realized his nails were painted a rather fetching sparkling jade green.

Blinking rapidly again he glanced down and noticed what he was wearing, and his scream could be heard for quite some distance.

* * *

Harry's head felt like he'd been bashed by a bludger than tossed into the Knight Bus without the benefit of a chair or bed, sitting up he glanced about in confusion and went to adjust his glasses before pausing. He wasn't wearing glasses, yet he could see, trying to remember what led him to passing out in the corridor leading to Gryffindor Tower he winced remembering a shite ton of whiskey and his wife's most recent insane plan.

Taking stock of his situation the first thing he noticed was that he was short again and his back wasn't killing him, so maybe he did go back in time? It was so hard to focus right now, maybe some of his drunken haze had traveled with him? Pulling his long hair from his eyes and he paused in surprise. His hair was a deep red, so dark in fact that it looked black depending on how the light hit it, not to mention how bloody long it was.

"Well...that isn't right," he gasped grabbing his throat, his voice wasn't his voice! It was far too soft, too feminine, closing his eyes he let out a deep breath as he looked down at his body...of course.

Sighing he pulled out his wand and muttered, "Point Me Hermione Granger," his wand spun towards the Great Hall and he took off at a dead sprint.

* * *

Severus Snape was not in a particularly good mood, this of course wasn't too abnormal for the taciturn man but today was going to be worse since the foreign students for this thrice damned tournament were to arrive by late afternoon.

Sighing he glanced about the Great Hall as all the dunderheaded students prattled at each other, at least it was quiet enough to think for once, the Weasley twins must be preoccupied this morning. His reverie was broken when he heard a horrified scream in the distance, pausing he resigned himself to more teen drama realizing it was coming from the dungeons.

Finishing his coffee and muffin he was about to stand when the double doors on both ends of the Great Hall slammed open, framed in one was the Potter brat emerald eyes glowing manically, in the other young Malfoy whose silver gaze showed killing intent.

Both rushed towards the middle of the room wands drawn, everyone diving out of the long time rival's way realizing that this was it, they'd finally snapped and were ready to kill each other.

To the surprise of everyone in the room they both stopped at the Ravenclaw table hovering over that irritating know it all muggle-born, huffing from obvious exertion from a long run they both pointed a finger at Granger while screeching, " _ **WHAT DID YOU DO!?**_ "

She looked at both Potter and Malfoy in shock, eyes widening, Severus stood and prowled towards the confrontation as the brunette girls shoulders began shaking. Great now he had to deal with an emotional mess as well, yay him. Stopping behind the Gryffindor and Slytherin Severus was about to place a hand on both their shoulders when Granger broke out into peels of laughter.

As she tried to regain her composure she'd look back up at her scowling classmates and fell right back into uncontrolled laughter. Potter and Malfoy exchanged looks, sighed and ran there hands through their long hair in an almost mirrored sign of exasperation. Potter cocked a hip to her side and placed a hand on it while rubbing the bridge of her nose, Malfoy did the same, her long silver hair covering her face in the process.

Both girls eventually turned back to the Ravenclaw and as one stated, "'MIONE FOCUS!"

The girl finally stopped laughing long enough to give them a cheeky grin as she coughed out, "You both make beautiful young ladies!"

With that she broke into further laughter, now thoroughly confused Severus turned his attention back to the two now pouting girls, "Miss Potter, Miss Malfoy, care to explain?"

They met each others gaze, sighed, and as one hooked an arm through each of Granger's and began dragging her away. "And where do you think you two are going?"

They stopped shrugged, and began walking again as they yelled over their shoulders, "Hogshead," Severus blinked rapidly at that trying to process these very strange events before he regathered his wits.

Snapping out of it he called out to his goddaughter, "Dracona Narcissa Malfoy you stop right there!" They did stop but it was for different reasons, his goddaughter looked absolutely appalled while Potter broke down into a fit of laughter.

"Dracona?! DRACONA?! BWHAHAHA!" Granger upon hearing this broke down into another giggle fit, the silver haired Malfoy heiress growled to herself then she too started snickering.

She shook her head and seemed to suddenly realize that the entirety of the school was staring at them in absolute confusion. Granger finally seeming to pull herself together shocked everyone as she kissed both girls on the lips and began walking towards the doors still grinning in amusement.

"Come on you two, we have research to do, this wasn't part of the calculations after all," completely ignoring the masses about them Potter shrugged and further wierding out the school threw her arm around Dracona's shoulders guiding the other girl along.

"Come on mate, things are never simple you should have realized that when you agreed to this, maybe-"

Ahe was cut off with an annoyed, "Iris Lily Potter what in the world are you up to now? I mean if this is some elaborate prank well done but really, what's going on honey?"

Cringing and much to Severus confusion looking horrified, perplexed and hopeful all at once Potter spun to see who was approaching her.

Eyes widening she stared at the irritated Defense Professor before muttering, "Padfoot?"

With that her eyes rolled into the back of her head and she collapsed in Dracona's arms, the silver haired girl for her part sighed in annoyance, "Really Potter? You get Iris and I got Dracona? Merlin your parents did love you more than mine did me..."

Glancing up to the confused professors she threw them a cheeky grin, "'Ello Professor Black, why so Sirius?"

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 **I find this Draco rather funny...anyway hope you enjoyed please review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Chapter 2**

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 _ **Soooo yeah, you guys aren't taking no for an answer so here you go, part two. Keep in mind folks that this was never planned out so this has a bit less humor and more world building going on, oh and obviously since you know...gender bender thing there's going to be femslash so there's that too. Anyway, enjoy and review!**_

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"Heyya, I gotta admit when I woke up this morning I did _not_ expect find an old man in my head. Well unless Dumbles decided to poke around again but he stopped that right quick when he saw my defenses. Don't really blame him though Lovecraftien abominations are a bit on the squickier side of things, so who are you?"

Harry's eyes shot open and he found himself staring up into the emerald eyes of a petite woman. she was still young but she had all the signs of promised future beauty, her most distinguishing feature though was a smirk he'd often seen in photos of his dad. It promised that mischief was to be afoot regardless of the situation and that she'd enjoy every second of it. Sitting up the girl pulled back as she crossed her arms across her chest, as they eyed each other she raised a single brow awaiting a response.

Getting to his feet he bowed, "Hello young lady, My Name is the Lord Hadrian James Potter-Black-Peverall-Slytherin, The-Boy-Who-Lived, The-Wizard-Who-Conquered, Defeater of Voldemort, and Headmaster to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. But my friends just call me Harry, I only make the Pure-Bloods use all my titles to take the piss outta them, and who might you be?"

The girl looked perplexed as she curtsied in return, "Err, I'm the Heiress Iris Lily Potter-Black, The Marauder Quill, and ummm...fourth year student at Hogwarts..." Harry grinned at that before laughing.

"Ah hell, you're the body I crash landed into when Hermione, Draco, and I tried to time travel aren't you? Well, it's a long story, wanna hear about my life?" She nodded so he conjured a couple leather chairs, sat down and told her his life story, "And that's about it, I guess boredom and alcohol counteract the wisdom of old age."

The girl shook her head in wonderment as she sipped the hot chocolate their shared mindscape supplied, "Neville's The-Boy-Who-Lived in our world. Nice bloke, very quiet. His Gran kept him away from the spotlight before Hogwarts so he's not nearly as stuck up as folks like Dracona."

Harry couldn't help but laugh again hearing his best mates feminized name, "Yeah trust me a couple wars, a traumatic incident or two and a few drunken tussles and Drac will shape right up. _But_ that begs the question what do we do about us?"

She shrugged helplessly a moment before tapping her chin with a forefinger, "Well, obviously you can't go back right?"

He shrugged in return, "No idea this was all 'Mione's scheme, speaking of which what do you know about this dimensions Miss Granger?"

Iris just tilted her head to the side and gave him a sheepish look, "Err, not all that much really. She's very quiet, doesn't have many friends outside of Luna Lovegood from what Ginny's told me, she's a bit bossy and hates bullies. Oh! I do know she goes out of her way to tell first year Muggle-Born students the ins and outs of our world, always thought that was nice of her, outside of that well..."

Harry nodded while stroking his beard, "Makes sense, Ron and I both treated her pretty badly until the troll incident, without that being a catalyst she probably had a harder time of it...Oh right, what's Ron like here?"

Her face scrunched up in disgust but it looked almost adorable on her young face, "He's a git! Lazy, confrontational, constantly tries to copy other peoples homework. He's... _sorta_ friends with Neville but I think that's just because Nev's too nice to send him away. Ginny and the twins told me he's nearly been expelled for bad grades twice so far."

Harry smirked at that, served the tosser right, and he wasn't shocked at all that the murderous bastard would latch onto the Boy-Who-Lived regardless of who it was.

"I'm sorry we went on a tangent, what to do with our situation?" Iris blew a long breath through her teeth making a whistling noise as she did so before rubbing her temples.

Dropping her hands to her sides she hopped up and began pacing, "I don't know, I mean I like you well enough and I don't want to have you exorcised or anything. I mean you came here to live life again on your own terms, so we could try merging or something along those lines."

She paused then made a gagging noise when she saw the appalled look cross his face, "NOT LIKE THAT PERVERT! Ugh...you are so much like Dad...I mean I don't know, we could hold hands or something, see if we can combine our memories?"

Harry shrugged, he'd never been one to think things through too extensively (politics not withstanding) much to Hermione's annoyance so he went with his default Gryffindor brashness and took her hand.

"Well, I guess we can give it a shot?" Even before he was finished speaking there was a flash of light and as it faded there was no longer an old man in expensive robes and a young girl in a school uniform.

Blinking rapidly the redheaded young woman looked about frantically before calming down, "Huh, that was...painless." she stated thoughtfully.

"Hmm...makes sense I suppose we were awfully alike, and oh hell she had a crush on Dracona that's why they were always fighting?! BWHAHAHA!" The woman couldn't stop laughing for some time, eventually she calmed down enough to get back to the task at hand, "All right...well, I guess I'm gonna go with being called Iris, this outta be fun," with that she faded away.

* * *

As Iris came to in the hospital wing she sat up in the bed and glanced up to make sure the plaque declaring it her's was affixed to the wall, yup Fred and George's work was still in play.

Her two companions were on either side of the bed quietly talking to each other, "So I was thinking..." Iris began grabbing while grabbing their attention, "That we should probably hit 4 Privet Drive and kill the Dursleys. You know, for Harry's sake."

Exchanging looks Draco and Hermione turned back to their friend in confusion, "Harry?"

The girl before them shook her hand back and forth in return, "Kinda sorta, we merged our personalities which is really brilliant by the way, easy too I'm not really sure why though. Probably outside of the fact that Harry's childhood was absolute shite being treated like a house elf by Petunia and Vernon they were near identical outside of the age difference."

She tapped her chin slowly as her eyes wandered the ceiling, "That does give some credence to nature over nurture but on that note Harry had a piece of Voldemort's soul glued to his forehead for sixteen years and it didn't alter who he was...hmm..."

Draco rubbed the bridge of her nose before groaning out, "Merlin's ballsack she's a babbler like you now."

Hermione snorted while smacking her shoulder lightly, "Prat, well merging sounds like a lovely idea honestly. I have no idea how to get us back home and well...I like the fact that everyone we know isn't dead, bit of a bonus there."

Draco nodded at this and hopped up onto Iris's bed, "All right, me first, Stupify!" Pointing her index finger at her chest she hit herself with the wandless stunner and fell back sprawled at Iris's feet.

Blinking rapidly Hermione turned to Iris while huffing out, "Boys..."

Iris snorted at that while rolling her eyes, "If Draco pulls it off you won't be able to use that one on us anymore."

Hermione pouted cutely at that as she let out a hurrumph noise, "True, so umm... out of curiosity are we still married?"

Iris shrugged at that as she reached up and started playing with a lock of sable/crimson hair, "I think mentally and maybe even magically yes, but legally? I sincerely doubt it, keep in mind I'm not Harry James Potter anymore and there was never one born here, and the both being girls thing might cause some issues."

Hermione looked a bit crestfallen at that but was stopped when Iris grabbed her by the tie and pulled her into a passionate kiss, after breaking it she threw the brunette a cheeky grin. "Just because we aren't married anymore doesn't mean I don't plan on shagging you senseless, I've got...ideas."

Blushing brightly Hermione sat on the bed primly next to her husb...girlfriend? That'd do, she sat next to her girlfriend and proudly stated, "Excellent, then I get to show you the wonders of the female orgasm."

Iris let her eyebrows shoot up at that, "There's a difference?"

Hermione turned and kissed her again then all but purred out, "Oh you have noooo idea dear."

Before anything else could be said a calm sophisticated voice drawled out, "Sounds like fun, mind if I join in?"

Turning they saw Draco sit up blinking rapidly, "Draco? Everything all right?"

She waved her hand off at that, "Oh fine fine it just ends up Dracona was a bit chatty, apparently unlike Draco's family Dracona's never joined Voldemort's little band of murderers. It would seem Grandfather Abraxos found out about something that turned him away from the Dark Lord, my money is on the Horcruxes, anyway..."

She shrugged at the pair giving them a wide grin, "I'm honestly able to say I'm proud of being a Malfoy here...hmmm" Hermione and Iris tilted their heads waiting patiently but it was obvious their friend was lost in thought.

"Earth to Draco, snap out of it!" Iris stated taking on the other girls usual drawl, blinking again she turned her silver blue gaze back to them and blushed before replying.

"Sorry, this whole becoming a third personality thing is a bit weird, conflicting emotions, oh and bits of awkwardness like the fact that Dracona had a massive crush on Iris."

Hermione's brows rose at that while Iris broke out into laughter, "Oh wow, yeah same with Iris! their entire rivalry was unreleased sexual tension, too funny!" Hermione pinched the bridge of her nose while sighing, looking up she gave them both a wide grin that unsettled them a bit.

"Does that mean when you were Harry and Draco you..."

She trailed off and the two former men looked at each other then shrugged and looked back while stating in unison,"Nah."

Shaking her head slowly Hermione stood and began pacing, "Well be that as it may we've much to figure out, I still have to merge with this worlds me and then we need to figure out what went wrong, since there's some other...irregularities..."

She shot the pair sitting on the bed a concerned look with that then resumed pacing. Silver met emerald as they turned back to her stating, "Like what?"

Hermione sighed dropping her hands to her sides before gesturing to them, "Like _that!_ Sure Harry and Draco were best mates for ninety some odd years while Iris and Dracona wanted to shag each other but that doesn't mean you should have this kind of perfect unity in your banter! Down in the Great Hall you were both using the exact same body language and were practically talking in unison! I think something went wrong with the ceremony, or oh I don't know, we got blended a bit or something, I don't know!"

Once again neither Iris or Dracona seemed to care all that much as they shrugged at the same time,

"Honestly 'Mione," Dracona began, "I'm more concerned about what's going to happen if anyone finds out about this, I mean sure the versions of us from this world seem more than ok with this whole merging thing but I sincerely doubt others will be so accommodating."

Iris nodded at that solemnly, "Trust me if my parents found out about this they'd either be so worried about me that I'd be committed to Saint Mungo's or so furious that either version of myself thought it was a good idea that I'd never see daylight again."

Hermione froze at that and smiled widely, "The Potters are alive?!"

Iris grinned in return, "Yeah, Mom, Dad, Padfoot, Moony, they're all alive here...and I have a little brother and sister but they're only six and eight... Mione I think you should perform your merging now, we...well, both our lives," she nodded towards Dracona, "Are a thousand times better here. I'd love to know if it's the same for you."

Nodding she took Dracona's spot on the bed and performed her own stunner, the silver haired girl turned back to Iris who calmly asked, "So we've been at this for like, fifteen minutes, where's Madam Pomfrey?"

The silver haired girl laughed at that while rolling her eyes, "Outside with everyone else I'd assume, It's fourth year, Triwizard Tournament and all that, apparently the foreign schools are showing up so we're actually free from observation for the time being."

Iris cocked an eyebrow at that, "Oh really?" Nodding absently Dracona began playing with a lock of her hair as Iris stood up and pulled her into a scorching kiss, groaning loudly she melted into the other girl and felt her face flush brightly. Not able to resist their teenage hormones both girls began exploring the others bodies until they heard someone clear their throat, eyes widening in panic they broke the embrace and turned blushing brighter then a Weasley's hair.

Hermione was sitting on the bed smirking coyly at the pair, "Well...I think that _may_ have been one of the hottest things I've ever seen, wait. Thinking about it... Yes, it was indeed quite hot," Iris stammered a bit while Dracona rolled her eyes, Hermione though looked contemplative. "Does...that make you gay since half your consciousness is male or lesbian because half is female...or incredibly straight due to the former...wow...ok hurting my own head here..."

Dracona, who was still blushing furiously thought about it a moment than exchanged glances with Iris who just shrugged again, the young Malfoy Heiress tapped her chin a moment before making a rather unladylike snort of disdain.

"Who cares, we weren't interested in each other as blokes but we've been around each other for damn near a century, our new...erm...forms were already attracted to each other so lets just write this off as one of those...what was that show again Iris?"

The redhead snapped her head up and quickly said, "Twilight Zone dear...oh...this is getting odd...can we just sleep this off there's been so many changes today I just..."

Hermione and Dracona both nodded at that, the trio began leaving the infirmary and as they reached the door Iris paused, "Think Madam Pomfrey is going to be angry we left?" Dracona snorted at that while sliding an arm around her waist as Hermione did the same,

"Who cares, we're Marauder's, she'll have to get used to it," laughing the three friends walked off chattering to each other, thirty seconds later two men dispelled the disillusionment spells they'd been under for the past half hour. Severus turned to Sirius with a blank look in his eyes, the dog animagus was blinking rapidly, a hundred different emotions fighting for there position on his face.

After a moment the Potions Professor let out a slow sigh and asked, "Fire Whiskey?"

The Defense Professor nodded slowly and followed his friend out of the room, "Yeah...yeah that's a really good idea..."

* * *

 **Ah teenage hormones coupled with the indifferent "Roll with it" attitude of the elderly, this is...going to be fun.**


End file.
